This is my mumming out post. What’s a mumming out? It’s my coming out … as a mum. Yes – you read that right. Diversity Dana is also Dana The Mama. I’m a mum. Of twins, who yesterday turned 6 months old.
I know what you’re thinking. I post here all the time and I said nothing about it. Well, there are good reasons for that.
I wanted to be a mum for some time, but sadly, struggled with my fertility. So when I finally got pregnant, and then for the extra icing on the cake it was twins, I was absolutely over the moon. But experiences in the past had taught me that pregnancies don’t always stick and twin pregnancies are even more high-risk. When there were complications at the start, I decided to be extremely cautious. I told my immediate family, with instructions to guard the secret with their lives. And I told work-related contacts and clients on a strict need-to-know basis only. If we didn’t see each other in that period you probably would not have known I was pregnant.
I was so cautious that I only told my extended family at the 6 month mark. My husband & I only really started buying the big things and doing up the nursery after the 7 month mark because we thought “If anything happens and they are born now, they will live.” We were in a state of elation and panic and worry for the entire 9 months, which I understand is what the rest of our lives with kids will be – so it was good practice.
And then they were born. And they were so perfect, I just didn’t want to share them. I wanted to live in a bubble that was just me and them. And so, I did. I made one post on my private FB announcing their birth and that was it. No other social media. I lived my life offline, soaking up every moment of being a new mum.
You might be reading this thinking “But you were online all the time!” And I understand why you would think that. The best gift I gave myself during my maternity was the gift of time. I created tons of social media posts in advance and got a scheduler. Stuff has been posting automatically for months while I held my babies and loved my babies and enjoyed being in the new phase of my life.
In my pre-baby hubris I had said “Oh I’ll be back at work in 3 months.” I even put a few things in my diary for post 3 months. But as the 3 month mark approached, I didn’t even want to leave my babies to go to Tesco. Oh their little faces and their smiles and how they looked at me! I was consumed. Obsessed.
But now I’m actually glad I put those bookings in the diary. They were all with clients and partners I trusted and they reminded me that while I love my babies, I also love what I do. They also reminded me that I’m damn good at what I do. Because I did have some moments of panic wondering if mummy-hood may have taken away my magic. It didn’t – I’m still me. I just needed to find a way to be Diversity Dana and a new mum harmoniously.
Because I want to be there for cuddles and walks – and even poopy nappies. When they say their first words and take their first steps I want to be there. For swimming and birthdays and first days. I want it all. But at the same time, I also want to design & deliver learning that makes a difference.
First I started putting in hard rules. No more than one overnight! London only! No international travel! But then I realised that I needed to be more flexible and consider each offer for work on a case by case basis. Because the beauty of being Diversity Dana is that I am in control. I get to choose when I work, who I work with, where I work and how much I work. That’s the ultimate power. And I plan on using that power to the fullest.
So – I’m back. When you see posts on social media, know that it’s me. I’m here. And just so you know, from now on there will be occasional pictures of my boys around. Their names are Noah and David. They’re part of my reality. And they’re also gorgeous. And that’s not mummy-bias. They are. I may as well start as I aim to continue …
Beautiful post Dana! Enjoy the absolute delights (and challenges!) of being mum x
Thanks Lindsay! I look forward to them all!
Oh what a lovely, amusing moving post!!! Welcome back to our world. X X
Thanks Miriam! It’s great to be back!
I’ve read this about 5 times now. You’ve put into words the feelings of a new (working) Momma so beautifully. The other Hubbies and I are so grateful to work with you and so so happy for you. You’re special little men are beautiful. ❤️
Oh Emma! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I don’t know if you realise but The Hubbies were those trusted partners that I mentioned. I could not have done my journey without you and I am honestly so lucky we found each other.
Oh, Dana. What a wonderful thing. I’m so happy for you. What beautiful boys! I still look at my daughters’ photos and feel overwhelmed with love… and they’re 31 and 34! We are blessed indeed. xx Hope to see you again soon.
Thanks so much Heather! I look forward to my boys’ journey as well. To 30 … and beyond. I can’t imagine who they will be at that age but I am excited. There is nothing like a mother’s love! I wish you and your daughters many more years of happiness.
Congratulations Dana! They are radiant. I am so happy for both of you!! As I am sure that you have seen, they grow up so fast – it is wise to enjoy these moments. Good luck with the perpetual balancing game, and be easy on yourself – modern, working motherhood is a challenge for all of us. I’m sure you will be amazing though! Hugs to G. and your boys! Xoxo
Thanks Maria! The time does fly. So very fast. I rolled my eyes a bit at people saying “It goes so fast” – but oh my goodness it really does. I look forward to embracing the challenges that working motherhood brings. I am feeling some of them already – but time is the best educator.
Dana what a brilliant article! Many congratulations to you both, the boys are gorgeous.
Thanks so much Lou Lou! I think so too … but then I might just be biased 🙂
Beautiful – wishing you all the very best. Twins are a very special gift, mine have just left for Uni but know you are going to have the best time ever. xx
Thanks so much Anne! I forgot about your twins until I read this. The fact that you’ve survived to see them through to Uni is very encouraging. I look forward to all the adventures that twins can bring!
Beautiful! Congrats and all God’s blessings!
Thanks so much Claudia! I appreciate it!
Dana!!! I couldn’t be more overjoyed for you, mama!! What wonderful news!! You know I now have to come & have a cuddle!
You are welcome ANY TIME! And thanks so much for the congrats!
Oh Dana – they are absolutely gorgeous. Massive congrats on these little bundles of joy! I’m so happy for you, you’re an inspiration and I have no doubt you’ll be an amazing mum xx
Thanks so much Nathaly! I really appreciate it! Hope all is well in your world.